The Matchmakers of Underland
by azami-x
Summary: Alice and the Hatter are often sought for advice on things of a romantic and otherwise nature. Now spring is here,and Underland is all atwitter with love and lust, keeping them quite busy. Better summary in story. Alice/Hatter M for later chapters!


**The Matchmakers of Underland**

Disclaimer: I own no part of the characters/details/ideas of the original story/scripts that are referenced in this story.

**Summary: **_**Alice and the Hatter are blissfully wed, living the happiest life that any two lovers could ever hope for. Because of their profound happiness, others often seek advice from them on matters of a romantic nature. When spring rolls around, and Underland is all atwitter with love and lust, what adventures and mildly awkward situations might they find themselves in? **_

The morning sun worked its way through a slight part in the drapes, pricking at her eyelids as she woke from her deep slumber. Rolling over in bed, she noticed the spot next to her was empty. Frowning a bit, she sat up. "That Hatter! Always rising so early," she thought to herself. Not that she required him to always rise when she did, as she was usually much later to rise than he. However this particular morning, she was in the mood for a bit of _closeness_ before the day began. Sighing to herself and shrugging, she pulled back the covers and turned in the bed, lowering her feet to the floor.

"Well I suppose now is as good a time as any to get up," she said out loud to no one in particular. She rose from the bed and made her way to the washroom, catching a cleansing before returning to the bedroom chambers to pick out something to wear. Opening the closet, she gazed upon the many lovely creations of her beloved's hands. He really was quite talented, at so many crafts. Tilting her head, she examined a selection of more casual, every day sort of outfits. Finally she settled on one of her particular favorites. Pulling it from the closet, admired it for a moment. Smiling to herself, she giggled a bit, feeling whimsical and happy. This particular dress was a particularly stunning shade of blue, matching the color of the skies in the spring. And it was perfectly suited for a day like today.

After dressing, she opened the drapes, taking in the warm morning air of a radiant spring day. Now she welcomed the glow of the sun, and gave a cheerful smile and wave to a family of birds that had nested in a tree not far from the sill of the window. The birds called hello and then went back to their own morning routine. As she made her way down the long and winding staircase, she thought of her life and how it was now, compared to the life she had lived for…well…most of her life. It was quite a different life indeed! But the life she had now…it was the life she was meant to have.

It had been two years since she and the Hatter had wed. It was a lovely and glorious event that took place in the gardens of Marmoreal. Mirana gone through every motion and effort to make their wedding day as special as it could be. It the least she felt she could do for the Champion of Underland and the man whom had stood at the head of the uprising against her sister's tyrannical reign. As odd a matched as they seemed, they were the most perfect fit in the history of all things. All of Underland had joined them in their bliss, cheering all the while at the blessed union between their heroes. Mirana had even made it possible for her mother and sister to attend the ceremony and reception. Just how she managed so was beyond Alice, but she had learned in all of her time in Underland, that some things just are because they are. And some things are not, simply because they are not. Alice giggled at the memory of first telling her mother and sister about her plans…

**(Flashback)**

_Alice sat across the table from her mother and sister, fidgeting nervously. They stared at her expectantly, as she had announced that she had something slightly shocking, but very important to tell them. Unsure of where to begin, Alice laughed anxiously, and fumbled over her words. _

"_Well…you see, Mother, Margaret… I haven't exactly told you precisely everything about my activities in the last half year…" she began. "You see…well… you see…" _

"_Come now, Alice! Don't keep us in such suspense. I beg of you, sister, please make haste!" Margaret burst out, unable to further contain her curiosity. _

"_Well… you see… as I have told you, I have been living in…another…land… of sorts…and well, I have already told you that I had been courted by someone, and that.. Well you know…" Alice explained hurridly. _

"_Alice, my dear, please just tell us what is going on," her mother said calmly, giving her a slight smile and placing her hand over Alice's. Alice smiled a bit and eased. _

"_Alright, well, I'll explain it all… as simply as I can. And please let me finish before you interject…" Alice took a deep breath and spilled out the entirety of her story._

"_Well you'll recall quite easily the dreams that plagued me for years…and the strange being and the oddly curious land that I found myself in. You see, that wasn't a dream, it was actually a memory…" she went on._

_As she continued to speak, she saw both her mother and sister grow more wide-eyed, astonished at what she was telling them. She went on and on, telling them of her adventures as a child, and her return as a young woman… slaying the Jabberwocky, and of a certain man of whom she was always very fond. She mimicked the Tweedles humorous bickering, and the Red Queen's bellowing. She spoke of how she was too small, and then too tall, and then just the perfectly proper Alice size. On and on she spoke, telling them of so many glorious things, that, to an uninformed listener, sounded like complete and utter madness._

"_And well… what I mean to tell you now is that.. The man that I have been courted by, and accepted the propsal of is none other than the Hatter himself, Tarrant Hightopp." After she completed her last statement, Alice sat looking at her mother and sister, searching their faces for some clue of their temperament…and whether they thought her to be mad. _

"_So…you mean to tell us..that you're going to marry a madman?" her mother asked slowly, her eyebrows raised in question, not completely certain of what she had just been told. _

"_Well, Mother… he's not dangerous or criminal…simply… a bit off the mark, you know? He's infinitely silly and incredulously giddy. Though, he does have a far more serious and grave side. But, he would never bring me harm or foul. He's a good, honest, loving man whom has taken possession of my heart, and I of his." Alice spoke firmly, but lovingly in defense of her Tarrant. Whether or not they believed her or approved was no longer and issue. She would marry him regardless of what anyone said, in praise or rejection of the very idea. _

"_Alice! This is preposterous… how do you expect us to believe such a thing!" Margaret burst out, the initial state of shock wearing off. "Just what are you on about, dear sister? I don't understand why you would concoct such a story…such a lie…" _

_Just then a voice spoke from just beyond the terrace door, someone calling out in a hoarse whisper. "Alice? Dearest darling….?" Alice's turned sharply, knowing just whom that was, calling to her in what sounded like a panicked voice. She smiled. Margaret and Mrs. Kingsleigh both looked on in curiosity, wondering just who or what that might be lurking just beyond the door. _

"_Margaret, Mother… I shall now provide you with evidence that what I have told you is the complete and honest truth. A moment, please," she said, rising from her seat and going to the door. Pulling it open slightly, she poked her head inside and looked about. _

"_Tarrant? Where are you?" she whispered, still looking about. Just then he spoke once more, his voice still in a whisper._

"_Alice!" he said sharply, turning and seeing her face. He rushed to her and smiled widely. "There you are!" _

_Alice giggled as his eyes shone a vibrant viridian and he flashed his toothy grin. "Yes, silly, I'm right here. I told you that I had to speak with them before you were introduced, and now I have done so. Are you ready to meet them?" she asked gently, knowing that he was very nervous at even the very prospect. _

"_Of course, my dove! But are you sure they're quite ready?" he asked, his smile falling into a worried frown. Afterall, he knew that he was not like any other gentleman that they had ever come across. _

_Alice smiled warmly and reached to touch his pale cheek. "Whether they are ready or not, now is the time, my love. So, shall we?" she held a hand out to him, and he took it into his own, gazing at her lovingly. She was proud to be marrying him…she had never loved so deeply nor been loved by someone so deeply before. So then they emerged from the doors, hand in hand. And went to rejoin Margaret and Mrs. Kingsleigh. _

_Upon reaching the table, Alice turned to her mother and sister. "Mother, Margaret, I would like you to meet my intended, Tarrant Hightopp." _

_Both women gazed upon him in astonished amazement. They had never seem the likes of him before, but there was something strangely magical about his presence. _

_Mrs. Kingsleigh was the first to speak. "It's lovely to meet you, dear. Alice has told us a great deal about you." Tarrant smiled widely, stepped forward, giving a slight bow and a tip of his hat. _

"_As she has told me much of you, dear lady. And I am so pleased to have finally met you," he said smoothly, stifling any urge of utter one of his quintessential delight maniacal giggles. He was the picture of the perfect gentlemen. Alice giggled in spite of herself, seeing Tarrant interact with her mother. It was a strange and amusing sight. _

_After the shock and stun faded, the four engaged in a lovely conversation over tea. Tarrant had brought along one of his own concoctions, much to the delight of the ladies. _

"_This is the most wonderful tea I have ever had the pleasure of drinking!" Margaret gushed as she finished a fourth cup. "Alice you really have should introduced us sooner, he's perfectly charming!" _

_Alice smiled. _

**(End Flashback)**

Now as the foot of the stairs, a wonderfully delicious array of aromas hit Alice all at once. Peppermint and honey tea…freshly baked cranberry scones….Treacle tarts and clotted cream…bangers and mash… (her sense of smell had grown to be astoundingly accurate after some time in Underland). Alice's stomach growled loudly, surprising her a little. She giggled a bit in response. "Well good morning stomach. You're just in time for a parade of culinary delights!" In recent years, she had come into habit of speaking to things which could not readily speak back. And giggling… she giggled far more than she ever had, even as a child. She supposed that such odd habits would almost be expected to develop. She was married someone half mad, after all. She had always been on the borders of madness, herself.

Alice made her way into the kitchen and found her husband bustling about the kitchen, singing a silly little song to himself.

"Tea and cake! Tea and cake! Come to tea, for goodness sake! Have a seat! Don't be late! Join us now for tea and cake!" he chimed, bouncing happily about the room.

When his song concluded, he giggled to himself, quite amused by his own display. Alice couldn't help laugh as well. This caught the Hatter's attention, and he whirled around to find the location of the offending giggle. His face brightened as he flashed her a toothy grin, his eyes shinning a brilliant green. Alice laughed again, taking in the sight before her. He was wearing what was usually her own apron, baby blue and trimmed with lace, and far too small for him. He had spots of flour on this cheeks and nose, and was holding up a large wooden spoon.

"Alice, my darling! You're awake!" he beamed, but then his expression turned to a frown. "You know, you really shouldn't go sneaking up on someone like that," he said in a mock serious tone, shaking the spoon at her. "Naughty naughty." This was followed by a wink and smirk, stirring the laughter from Alice once more.

"Well, good morning to you as well, my dear husband," she said, sticking her tongue out at him and giving him a wink herself. He feigned shock, his mouth agape, and holding the spoon bearing across his chest, as if hit by a blow.

"Naughty!" he chirped, grinning wickedly at her.

Alice gave him a bemused smile, and took at seat at the already set breakfast table. Spreading a napkin over her lap, she looked at the spread in front of her. Just as she had guessed…cranberry scones, treacle tarts and clotted cream, bangers and mash, not to mention pots and pots of tea. To an outside observer it might appear to be far too much tea, but anyone in Underland knows, especially so in the Hightopp household, one could never have too much tea.

"Tarrant, is there anything I could help you with?" Alice asked, watching him still moving about, his back to her all the while. He shook his head vigorously in response.

"No no darling! I'm almost through with this very last task, and shan't be a moment longer!" he exclaimed, his voice rising in tone as he continued on. Just then he turned sharply, holding a small covered tray in his hands. The Hatter strode quickly across the room, setting the tray on the table in front of Alice, and then beamed at her.

Alice grinned broadly, surprised by his sudden action "Tarrant? What's all this?" she asked. He grinning still and motioned for her to lift the lid. When she lifted the lid she found a petite cake, beautifully decorated with miniature roses of every color and small box that sat upon a pedestal. She looked up at him in amazement, truly surprised. He nodded at her, smiling still and eagerly motioned for her to open the box, the anticipation clearly showing on his face. She smiled a girlish smile and open the box. Inside lay a locket made of silver with a beautifully engraved floral pattern. Alice gasped at the sight, pulling the locket from its resting place and holding it up against the morning sunlight.

"It's beautiful!" she gushed, smiling broadly. He giggled a little and mouthed "Open it." to her excitedly. She nodded and followed suit, opening up the locket. What she saw inside instantly brought tears to her eyes. It was a tiny replica of two figures dancing at a grand ball… the two figures being none other than Alice and Tarrant. It was them dancing at their wedding reception…their first dance as man and wife. Alice noticed a small button on the side, and pushed it. A heavenly tune began to tinkle… it was their wedding song. As she watched the tiny figures move in time to the song, Alice became mesmerized by the sight before her.

"I wanted to give it to you for our second anniversary, but unfortunately, it took far longer than I had previously anticipated. I do hope you like it..." the Hatter murmured, almost nervously.

"Oh Tarrant…I absolutely adore it… It's the most beautiful gift I've ever received…" Just then Alice's eyes spilled over with tears as she rose quickly to embrace her husband, holding him tightly. Overcome with emotion she kissed him sweetly, and he returned the kiss with equal love and passion. When their kiss broke (which was really some time later), he helped her to put the locket on, and they finally sat down together to breakfast.

They were really the most perfect pair in the history of all things. They complimented one another in every way, shape and form, providing for a blissful state of wedlock. Even when Tarrant was slightly off his tea, and lost control of himself, Alice was there to reel him back in. Whenever Alice became frustrated and stricken with disbelief, Tarrant was always there to remind her of the magic. Yes, they were quite perfectly imperfect together.

Their perfect imperfections drew the attention of many across the land, and some beyond it. It was like a living fairytale that young and old alike admired. This was precisely why others often came to them for advice on love, marriage, and the ways of the other sex (that sex being dependent upon exactly who might be asking). This fact was a bit funny to Alice, as she and Tarrant had only been married for two years, but the proprieties of life in Underland were not the same as they were in her former home. In Underland, what mattered was just how much muchness you had and how you used it. Together, Alice and Tarrant had more muchness than anyone could ever consider mustering, and it was due to this muchness that they were loved and revered by many.

After breakfast, they cleared the table together and set to the task of cleaning up the kitchen. Somewhere over the course of their cleaning, they became a bit distracted and found themselves I a rather amorous mood. As Alice attempted to wash the dishes, the Hatter became quite overcome by the swaying of his love's backside as she swished about, humming a little tune to herself. Taking a hold of her behind, he circled his arms around her waist, and nipped at her neck affectionately. Alice giggled in response, leaning back against him.

"Aye lass, yeh looking so fetchin', movin' about like that," he murmured in a low growl, his Outlandish brogue peaking through. He planted a series of kisses down her neck, pulling the shoulder of her dress down a bit, biting into the soft, newly exposed alabaster flesh of his beloved. Alice released a wanton sigh.

"Mmm…Tarrant..you always find the best ways to distract me from my tasks," she cooed, raising a sudsy hand to his cheek, stroking it gently as she leaned back into him further, feeling his firmness press against her rump. With that he whipped her around and pressed his lips to hers, taking her into a deep, heated kiss. She returned his action with full force, nipping at his lower lip, knowing that it drove him wild. Their affections progressed, the kisses growing more ferverent with each passing moment as their hands explored one another's body. They became quite engaged in their action, quickly progressing to something more.

Just then there was a knock at the front door followed by a frantic voice calling out to them.

"Alice! Hatter! Are you home? I must speak with you at once!" It was the voice of none other than the resident white rabbit in a dapper waistcoat and one of their most dear friends, Nivens McTwisp.

Tarrant let loose growl, muffled against Alice's lips. "Aye, bloody rabbit! Always interuptin' jes when the getting' was good…"

Alice was disappointed, but giggled in response. "Mmm yes he does have awfully inconvenient timing, however, we can't just leave him standing there, calling out like that." Tarrant hesitated in letting her go, working in another kiss before relenting. She purred against his lips, and whispered lustily in his ear.

"More of that later, pet. That is for certain," she said with a wink. With that, she loosened from his grip and walked into the parlor, to the front door.

Alice briskly opened the door, revealing that it was indeed McTwisp, fidgeting about in his usual nervous state. "Good morning, Nivens," she greeted him pleasantly. "What might bring you by at this early hour?"

The white rabbit looked to and fro nervously, as if he was worried that he was being watched. Alice looked down at him curiously, her head cocked to one side.

"Oh Alice! I'm so glad you're home! Might I come in? I have something very important to discuss with you and the Hatter!" he squeaked out.

"Of course, of course Nivens. Please come in," Alice said, stepping aside and motioning for him to enter. McTwisp hopped quickly into the house, beyond the threshold into the parlor. The Hatter was already in the room, and gave the rabbit a slight bow of greeting.

"Morning McTwisp. What brings you to call, may I ask?" the Hatter said, greeting the rabbit.

The rabbit bowed slightly in response, nodding to his head to the Hatter. "Yes, good morning Tarrant. I come to you both with a very urgent matter!"

By then Alice had joined them and took a seat in a chair by the fireplace. "Please, tell us what's so urgent, Nivens. We will be glad to assist you if we are so able," she said soothingly, giving the rabbit a warm smile. The Hatter nodded in agreement, taking a seat in his own chair, opposite Alice. "Yes, of course we will. Please share with us McTwisp," he added, urging the rabbit on.

Nivens hopped back and forth across the room, wringing his hands anxiously, muttering to himself, unable to muster a coherent statement that might provide some explanation to his behavior. "Oh its just a mess…just a horrible mess!"

Alice and Tarrant exchanged a worried glance, and then looked back to the rabbit.

"Nivens! What is it! You're keeping us in horrible suspense! Please, I beg of you, tell us what is the matter!" Alice urged, now feeling almost as apprehensive as the fidgeting rabbit.

"Oh! I don't know where to begin! Everyone is going mad…absolutely bonkers! It's spreading like wildfire, and there's no measure of containing it! Something must be done! We must address this immediately!" Nivens cried out, burying his face in his hands and wringing his own ears with aggravation.

"Do something about what?" Alice and Tarrant chimed in unison, both now eternally curious as to what in the world McTwisp could be going on about.

"Mating season!" the rabbit exclaimed in desperation.

The Hatter and Alice looked at one another, wide-eyed and whispered at the same time.

"Oh my…."

_Oh goodness, me oh my…mating season he says? Just what horrible mess could McTwisp be talking about? And just how could Alice and Tarrant be of assistance? Please read and review-- let me know what you think! Next chapter to follow soon! ~ Azami_


End file.
